Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones....

The old phrase " Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me" is not true at all. In my humble opinion you can heal from physical bruises and you may have a scar or two but words resonate in your head. They have the nerve to pop up at the most inopportune times long after you think that you have forgotten them. They in effect impact your self esteem.

Words have always held a certain amount of power in my life. You may think that is a "duh" statement because words effect everyone considering that we all use them everyday right? Well yes I will agree that we all use them but many of us are not aware how much words are embraced.

I have always been a wordsmith of sorts. Let my mother tell it I was so brilliant that I was reading the graffiti on her womb (just kidding she really says that I was kicking back reading the newspaper at four). I have always found great pleasure in the magic of words in books that I would simply devour. Growing up books were often my best friends. I was a loner of sorts who loved to escape in my books because they could take you anywhere. I found some of my best friends in books...like Margaret in Judy Blume's "Are you there God It's Me Margaret?" or Deenie in the book by the same name. I was transformed by the words in the books. To this day I love the magic of words as inevitably there is something that find that adds insight to some part of my life. Words can shape you, make you, form you, express you, grow you and yes even cut you.

This brings me to a recent experience at my local Target. I was in the baby aisle looking for a gift for a shower that I was to attend. I was in the aisle with this lady who had her little girl who was about three no older than four was in the large part of the cart. Well the mother was looking for a gift and the little girl just kept chatting in her little girl talk and she kept bothering her mothers purse. The mom told her once or twice to stop and to leave the purse alone...never moved it just told her not to touch this little magic bag (at least that what I thought my mom's purse was). Well the little girl touched the purse again and boy did mom use her words!!! I don't mean in a good way either. She said something to the effect of " Didn't I tell you to leave my f*cking purse alone? Put it back before I knock the sh*t out of your dumb ass" I must tell you all that I let out and audible sound of shock and surprise. Now don't get me wrong I am not for children not obeying their parents but I think that you all would agree that the words that were chosen were a bit harsh to say the least to say to an adult let alone a little baby. Mom then must have realized that I was behind her (or maybe she felt bad...I don't know) but her voice got softer and she asked the little girl which baby tub should she pick for the gift. Now I am not saying that this woman is a bad mother I am sure that she loves her daughter but the power of the words that she spoke to her on that day...the little girl may not even remember that particualar day ( but maybe she will) . I would also venture to say that this is not the first or last time that she will use such language with her daughter who will be shaped by the words of her mother.

Words have shaped me and they shape our future. We need to be mindful of the words that we speak to each other. I know that words affected me and they continue to do so. Growing up the words that kids used to tease me affected me... I was called things like Creature From the Black Lagoon, Blackie, Monkey, told the I had "The black touch" and anyone who touched me would have it too. These words sorry to say had some impact on the woman that I am today. I have to fight those thoughts of feeling less then whenever they creep into my thoughts. Many of you would say that I should get over it but the words were said during a critical time in my life. Now my mother would try to counter act those words by telling me that I am beautiful, smart, and that those other people were jealous (but honestly wouldn't she be a poor excuse for a mom if she didn't?) but these words hurt non the less. The words that impact me now do so differently but they still have some impact. I am a woman that is sensitive to the words that I use to express myself because I know that words hold so much power. The old phrase " Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me" is not true at all. In my humble opinion you can heal from physical bruises and you may have a scar or two but words resonate in your head. They in effect impact your self esteem.

Words have an affect on how high you can rise in this world. The mother of Barack Obama would tell her son that he could be whatever he wanted to be...and look at him now. Do you think that we would be seeing this man where he is right now if his mother had told him that he was stupid or that he would never be any better than his absent father? No I say not.

People watch your words. Speak kindly to people even when they don't deserve it. Don't say mean things just to be mean. Even when you are angry keep in mind the words that you say. Try not to say words that will cut to the core or that attacks a person in a way that they really cannot change. In fact try this little exercise make it a point to say something nice to at least three people a day...it should be genuine. I promise that you can find something to say. I admit that it does take a little more effort to find something about some people but not only will they be blessed by your words but you will be blessed by saying them.

Until next time...


Peace and Blessings,


Nicole